No Time To Blog . . .

Wow! I just realized that is has been over three weeks sense the last time I blogged. I have to admit I have been a little busy the past few weeks. Now, I don't have any great new spiritual revelation or hip thought to bring to you today so I will just update y'all on my life.

Family: The two kids, Emily and Matthew have been keeping Sandra and I really busy. Not that we are really that busy doing things but just spending time with these little guys is so satisfying that time just gets away. I record my TV shows, Highstakes Poker and Mythbusters, every week and I find that I hardly have time to watch it anymore. But what wonderful times. Matthew, along with his friend Hanna Mills, was dedicated this Sunday with lots of family and church friends present. They were the first babies dedicated at Grace Fellowship.

Church: The last six months at Grace Fellowship has been a very rewarding experience. It is so awesome to come together in unity and worship, in peace of mind, to worship God. Well, we finally have everything going pretty smooth and organized. We have DVDs and CDs of every services and because of our upcoming TV schedule we will be recording everything in multi-track for post editing. Our music is rocking like I knew that we were capable of doing and is very fun. I guess I do sometimes miss the old southern gospel songs but that is a thing of the past. We do mostly modern worship which is very guitar driven so that is all good with me, the guitar player. ;-) Our keyboard is a MO-8 and it freaking rocks. Everything from strings to organ to van halen guitar can be done with this instrument. We also have our REMIX youth service on Wednesday nights which is all about ROCKING out for Jesus.

Spiritual: I feel like I can finally follow the word of God instead of trying to reconcile a religious system to his word. I am finally free to believe that I am saved by Jesus Christ and trust his spirit and word to guide me in spirit and truth without trying to be superspiritual or follow what .2% of the christian world thinks is correct.

Come As You Are

Tonight, as I remembered one of my favorite songs of my youth. I was reminded of the deep depression that I suffered during that time. Most of it brought about because I constantly tried to be accepted by a group of people that wouldn't accept me for who I was no matter how hard I tried, how much I tried to win their acceptance, and no matter how much I changed myself to fit their view of what I was supposed to be.

Come, as you are
as you were, as I want you to be
as a friend,
as an old enemy
take your time, hurry up
the choice is yours
don't be late
take a rest, as a friend
as an old memoria

Come, dowsed in mud
soaked in bleach, as I want you to be
as a trend, as a friend
as an old memoria

and I swear
that I don't have a gun
no I don't have a gun
no I don't have a gun

Once again I am committed to being myself and will not allow myself to be pressured by those who could care less about my life. Come as you are? Not really, because no one wants you as you are, they only want what they can get from you.

Transformers and the Message of Forgiving

OK, so I saw the movie Transformers last night. I was opening the mail and noticed that it had come in from Netflix. After hearing from everyone and I mean everyone, that it was the greatest movie ever, I figured I would watch it. Though I knew after seeing the run time of the movie, 2 hours and 20 minutes (I never watch a movie without first looking at how much time I will have to sit still) that this was going to be difficult. So it took me two nights to get through it, but I did . . . barely. All I have to say is that if it wasn't for this hot chick I don't know if I would have made it through. I found it to be a very boring movie overall.

This gets me to thinking. Am I out of touch with the movie culture? Should I be impressed with a bunch of cartoon like machines changing back and forth? Am I missing out because I saw it on my 32" TV and not at the movies? Is this a sign that I am getting old? Is it gay that I actually like movies with a story, dialogue, and character development?

Thankfully, not all was lost. The ending credits were awesome!!! The song "What I've Done" by Linkin Park actually got my attention during the credits. AFTER WATCHING 143 minutes of movie I then proceeded to listen to the credits 15 times.

Maybe after listening to this song I was starting to understand the message of the whole movie. Maybe it is time to stop blaming others, stop the cycle of violence against each other, and accept the consequences of our actions. It is time for me not only to forgive others but once and for all to forgive myself for the mistakes I have made.



This song is about redemption and about asking forgiveness and forgiving ourselves and others for mistakes that have been made. We all are imperfect and make mistakes and that is how we are suppose to learn, but the world is unforgiving and we cannot erase ourselves from the world. It is only after we show God's love and forgiveness to the world and ask for forgiveness ourselves that we can be saved.

REMIX: Jamming at John's Crawdad Hole

Here we are rocking out at our first nonchurch gig. I am still not sure if there is a market for a "christian" band at the local establishments in the Mississippi Delta. We can only try and see what happens. The folks at the Crawdad Hole were very nice and wanted us to come back as soon as possible. There were even a few couples dancing and having a good time.

Hopefully this will be a great chance to meet young folks and pass out some Remix flyers.

REMIX SAT. NIGHT CONCERT

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Ha ha, I now realize how big a dork I am but there is no changing that at my age. Special thanks to Pastor Cantu for doing the video. Hopefully, we can get enough footage for a commercial for our REMIX youth services.

Here are a couple of pics from our halloween party. We told the youth they could dress up as Bible characters or heroes from history. I think they bent the rules a little. ;-)

Sunday Morning At "The Way"

Yesterday, before our church service at Grace Apostolic Fellowship, we went to another local church called "The Way". The REMIX band had been honored with an invite to do the worship music for a special youth oriented service. I think this was our first time playing out at another church. We thought we were going to be able to play at REMIX Wednesday night but because of a conflict we didn't have our normal area. So we had only about fifteen minutes of practice in the main sanctuary. We weren't as tight as we have been in the past and my vocals sucked (Kim did awesome for 30 minutes of straight singing!) but then such a sweet anointed presence of God filled the place and we just ROCKED OUT for Jesus. I am so proud of Josh, Austin, Kim, and Jason P., who was there to show support and to introduce us to "The Way."

One of the youth pastor's, Jessica, preached a convicting message inspired by a Paul Washer sermon which deals with real Christianity and how real salvation or conversion produces real change in a converts life. No she wasn't talking about being saved by works but that faith in God always produces works in a Christians life. I have to admit that there were areas in which I felt convicted and had to come before God in my own repentance. During the altar call I wept as I remembered how God reached out and miraculously healed so many areas in my life just a few short months ago. Just the fact that I can weep and feel love towards others is a huge step in my life. I wept because he forgives each time I come up short in my walk and with his word, through friends, or mentors in my life guides me back on the correct path.

The service at "The Way" helped to remind me of where God has brought me from in just a few short years. Most of my personal growth has come in the last year as my pastor and fellow youth leaders have pushed me out of my comfort zone and helped to break my little shell that I had lived in for so many years.

Here are some excerpts from the Paul Washer sermon that Jessica preached from.

Emily and Matt

Here are a couple of pics of our children, Emily and Matthew. Of course we have thousands of pictures but these are as recent as a couple of days ago. Nothing changes life like a kid. Now that I have two I wonder what I used to do with all my free time.

I Won't Forget the Journey

Below is the last post of my old blog. After struggeling for years to try to get back to a place with God that I knew in my heart existed, I finally found a little of what I was looking for. After going back and reading my blog again I am so glad I took a little time to write so that I never forget the struggle and those dark days that God led me through.

Posted on July 9, 2007:

Wow has my life changed since my last post! I finally received the renewal of the Holy Ghost that I have wanted for so long. I finally got past the fear that has had me bound and imprisoned for over ten years. I was at my lowest point spiritually. There was nothing else I could do but take a giant leap (for me anyway) on faith. Words cannot explain the feeling that I felt when I was once again united with the God who created me! Emotions that I was not expecting flooded my soul, namely LOVE. I felt such a love for my fellow brothers and sisters in the faith. I don't ever recall being aware that such love ever existed or could be felt toward other Christians. See, I was not expecting this overwhelming flood of love to spring forth in my soul. It came as such a suprise to me. After I opened my eyes and looked around I saw so many who had prayed with me and had basically walked with me while Christ took the burden from my shoulders. I am forever thankful for my Pastor and I will NEVER forget all those, who for a few minutes at an altar walked with me past the gates of my darkest struggle and saw me into the light of God's everlasting grace and love!

Starting Over, . . . Nah, not really